Tag Archives: Yoga

All You Need is Love

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While it is considered the yoga capital of the world, Rishikesh may be best known as the home of the ashram where the Beatles (and other celebrities) spent some time in 1960s and where they wrote much of their White Album. Though it is now-abandoned, the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi Ashram is still accessible to visitors, if you know how to get there.

Aside from being diligent little yogis-in-training, many of my classmates were also quite musical, so of course had to check this place out! (and even if you’re not musical, who seriously doesn’t like the Beatles?).

With vague instructions and water bottles, six of us headed out to an isolated forested area outside the main village of Laxman Jhula in Rishikesh, eventually stumbling upon the gates of a tall stone structure marked by three pointed domes covered in individual stones. Though the ashram is abandoned, the park authorities who own the grounds still charge 50 rupees (about a dollar) to enter the place, though once there you’re pretty much on your own.

Beatles Ashram 1

We entered through the gate to find a mostly forested area of lush green trees, spotted with crumbling stone dorms and lecture halls that were slowly being reclaimed by the forest around it. Despite a handful of other travelers, there weren’t many people at the ashram and we basically had the place to ourselves. Every now and then, a random Hindu statue of a bull or yoni/lingham illustrated the grounds were once a place of spirituality and religion, though there were no other markings to confirm where exactly we were or what we were looking at.

Beatles Ashram 2

Perhaps the most interesting part of the ashram was discovering the vibrant Beatles Cathedral Gallery, the only evidence we found on the grounds recognizing the ashram’s spiritual and musical influence on the world.

Located in an abandoned hall within the grounds, the Beatles Cathedral Gallery is a colorful open space full of images of love and peace. On one side, a series of spiritual leaders crossed the wall horizontally, painted in shades of black, white and red, including images of the Dalai Llama, Sri Prem Baba, Ananda Mayi Ma, Amma, Yogananda and Swami Sivananda, with an image of the Beatles dominating in the center. Directly across in the front of the room was another mural, this time, featuring an image of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi painted in black, white and red like the others, but positioned by himself on a blue background underneath an om symbol. Two large circles, one white, one black with opposite facing triangles, were painted next to the Maharishi, with images of wind-like trails flowing from either side.

Beatles Cathedral Gallery

A painted note on one of the side walls described the aim of the gallery as follows:

Our story is one of transformation. Together we witnessed the force of alchemy as this abandoned, sacred place regained its roots. Our story illustrates the lila between surrender and rebellion. This work is entirely illegal and entirely holy. Our story is one of growth. In this hall, one artist became an art director. Within these walls, one group of backpackers became first a community, then a sangha. We are painters, musicians, writers, sculptors, daughters, sons, lovers, bhaktas, rebels, renegades, strangers, yogis and friends. This is our gallery. This is our cathedral. This is our home. This is our satsang hall. This is our story. You are part of it now.

Thank you to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Thank you to the Beatles. Thank you to Pan Trinity Das. Thank you to our gurus. Thank you to the birds. Thank you to the sadhus. Thank you to this place.

May all be welcome here. May you love, may you create, may you inspire. May all beings in all realms be happy and free.

Shanti.

From what I read later, the projected was apparently created by a group of volunteers in April of 2012 but closed down by park authorities only two weeks later. When I was there, it still served as a popular destination and was full of graffiti of words of love and peace from visitors from around the world.

Ever devout yoga students, my friends and I took advantage of Rishikesh’s yoga/musical connection and took a series of fun photos documenting the experience:

Beatles Cathedral Gallery - Yoga 1

Beatles Cathedral Gallery - Yoga 2

Inspired by the musical energy, we then relocated to the top of another building inside one of its rooftop cells for an impromptu sing-a-long and chanting session, taking advantage of the ashram’s spiritual energy and acoustics.

As cheesy as it sounds, singing on top of the Beatles ashram in the middle of the forest with friends was a pretty magical experience and definitely one of the coolest moments of my time in Rishikesh. Here’s a slideshow of some additional photos of the Beatles ashram below.

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Critter Control and the Adventure of Yoga Crab

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I’ve always been drawn to animals, and I’m usually excited when they seem drawn to me too. But not all the time.

During my training at the Association for Yoga and Meditation, I was always delighted to watch the langur monkeys playing in the ashram trees.

Does your yoga class include monkeys?

Does your yoga class include monkeys?

I was even more excited when they would occasionally make an appearance in yoga class itself.

"Downward dog!"

“Downward dog!”

While the monkeys mostly kept their distance, a few other creatures decided they wanted to visit with me personally.

During my time at the ashram, I stayed in a small bedroom on the main floor, half-way between the bustling village outside and the holy Ganges River down the stairs in the backyard.

My mornings were fairly routine. My alarm rang around 5:45 a.m., I would then drag myself out of bed, pull on my yoga clothes, grab a snack and walk sleepily across the hall to 6 a.m. pranayama (breathing) practice.

One day I got up as usual, grabbed my yoga pants off the chair and got dressed. But as I continued getting ready, I noticed a slight scratching sensation in my pants between my legs. In my half-awake state, I didn’t think much of it. But as I continued, pulling on my t-shirt, putting my hair up and grabbing a handful of the trail mix I usually kept on my nightstand, the scratching did too.

Finally, I put my hand below to “adjust” and was surprised to find a strange lump under my pants. In my groggy state, it took me a few seconds to realize what was going on. And when I did, I screamed, yanking my pants off as quickly as possible. My jaw dropped in disbelief as I watched a quarter-sized cockroach scurry away.

Let me tell you, nothing wakes you up quite as effectively as discovering a cockroach in your pants!

The very next day, I got up as usual, checking carefully inside all my clothes making sure there were no additional new friends creeping around. Luckily, the morning went smoothly.

It wasn’t until after breakfast when I went back to my room that I discovered this next to my bed:

Hello.

Hello.

Yes inches away from my pillow, less than a foot from where I rest my head at night, stood a six-inch wide crab, about the size of one of my hands. How long he had been in my room and what he planned to do now that he was there was beyond me, (though I think my snacks may have had something to do with it).

This time, I didn’t scream. I did, however, request help. The next thing I know, one of the AYM staff is chasing the little critter around my room with a broom stick, in a fairly entertaining cat-and-mouse routine. Finally, my classmate Janica stepped in to personally return the crab to his home, presumably back to the Ganges.

You can follow his journey here:

Playing catch

Playing catch

Gotcha!

Gotcha!

The journey to the Ganges

The journey to the Ganges

Almost home

Almost home

Bye-bye

Bye-bye

In hindsight, perhaps keeping snacks exposed in a hot, crowded climate near water was not one of my smarter decisions. Though, honestly, I think I’m lucky I faced the smaller critters instead of the monkeys ;).

Fun with Kriyas

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One of my favorite classes during my yoga teacher training course at the Association for Yoga and Meditation was kriya class. Kriyas are yogic cleansing techniques meant to purify the body and mind, as well as treat and prevent disease. There are six areas of focus, including the stomach (“dhauti”), the lower intestines (“basti”), the nose (“neti”), the eyes (“tratak”), the abdominal organs (“nauli”) and the brain (“kapalbhati”). Done properly, kriyas clean and strengthen the body, focus the mind, enhance the senses, build stamina, combat allergies and can even help people quit smoking.

Now, some of these techniques are quite ambitious. “Vastra dhauti,” for example, involves swallowing a cloth to induce vomiting. “Gomutra neti” requires one to shoot cow’s urine through his or her nostrils. And advanced stages of tratak involve staring at the sun for long periods of time.

Needless to say, we focused on tamer kriya techniques. And I must admit, sometimes, it was kind of hilarious.

To start, we learned “jala neti,” a nasal cleansing technique that uses a neti pot (a small pot with a nostril-sized spout) to run warm salt water through one’s nose and sinuses. The process is supposed to clear the buildup within the nose and sinuses, desensitize hyperactive nasal tracks and combat allergies and respiratory problems. It is also good for relaxation.

The technique seemed fairly simple. After filling your pot with warm salt water, you hold the bottom of the pot, insert its tip into one of your nostrils, bend forward and tilt your head, making sure to keep your mouth open to breathe and prevent water from entering the lungs. What should result is what I like to call a “fountain effect,” whereby a steady stream of water flows smoothly from the second nostril. Let me tell you, it’s damn sexy.

My classmates seemed naturally apt at this. I looked around the courtyard and saw one fountain spring up after the other and thought, “Ok, I got this.” Then it turned out, actually, not so much.

I thought I was doing everything correctly. I filled up my pot, inserted the tip and tilted. I felt the water go in, I just didn’t feel it come out. There is something about standing around in a courtyard watching people shoot water out their noses that is just really funny. Perhaps part of the problem was I couldn’t keep a straight face.

Eventually, my teachers came by and helped me adjust, ultimately resulting in my own special “Erica Fountain.” It was a proud moment.

Fountain Erica!

Fountain Erica!

The second kriya didn’t happen at all. This one, “sutra neti,” involves taking a sterilized, waxed or rubber string, inserting it into one nostril and pulling it out the mouth and essentially “flossing” back and forth. If this activity doesn’t sound that appealing to you, trust me, it didn’t sound that much fun to me either.

But I tried. Again, the instructions were clear: take the waxed string, straighten it out, then create a gentle “J” curve and begin to work the curved end through one nostril until reaching the sinus cavity in the back, then gently lower down and pull out the front.

Experimenting with sutra neti

Experimenting with sutra neti

I think I made it about three inches before the violent gagging and coughing took place. I even tried to have our teacher, Mahesh, help, though I’m not sure having a different person insert a foreign object into your face is much more comfortable than doing it yourself. It certainly yielded the same reaction.

Mahesh's attempt to help with sutra neti

Mahesh’s attempt to help with sutra neti

In the end, I decided my sinuses were pretty good as they were.

After struggles with the “neti” kriyas, I finally had more luck with the “nauli” kriya meant to cleanse the abdominal organs. Now, before you go envisioning more foreign objects being inserted into the body to remove bodily fluids, I’ll tell you, this one required no such action.

Nauli kriya is a stomach cleansing technique that essentially involves lifting one’s abdominal organs up into the body behind the lungs and rotating them around, all without breathing. To do it properly, one must begin with an empty stomach and empty bowels. You then take a long exhale to empty the lungs, bend forward and use your muscles to tuck your stomach in and up before moving it around. The effect is a starved-looking, bizarre-moving body that is super impressive at parties.

Despite my earlier neti troubles, I actually did pretty well at nauli kriya. After a few tries I kind of got the hang of it, even making this super attractive video:

While I did make some progress on my kriyas, I obviously still have quite a ways to go. I recently read of an advanced kriya involving removing one’s own colon from the body and washing it. Now that’s impressive!

Yoga School

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If you’ve ever met me, you probably know I’m a little bit nuts.

To describe me as “Type A” would be an understatement, and sometimes I’m amazed how my anxiety seemingly knows no bounds.

When I started yoga shortly after moving to Malaysia in 2010, it was a means for exercise and a productive way to fill some free time in a new country. Then, when I started my India trip a year later, it became a “when in Rome” activity to experience this ancient tradition in its native land. But as I made my way through India, taking different yoga classes, visiting temples, witnessing pujas, studying meditation and philosophy, I began to see a bigger picture. Yoga and meditation became more than a means to physical fitness but a means to mental fitness as well and a desperately sought solution to achieve some calm in my life. I resolved that I would end my trip with a stay in a yoga ashram and see what would happen.

At the end of 2011, I found myself at the Sivananda Yoga Ashram. While I was only there for five days, it was everything I expected and more. The setting was lush and isolated, and the holistic discipline of limited vegetarian meals, meditation and minimal sleep in addition to four hours of daily asana (pose) practice left me feeling mentally and physically stronger than I’d felt in a long time. I knew then that I had to return a do a month-long teacher training program to explore this further.

Unfortunately, my single-entry, three-month visa was almost out, and India’s strict visa regulations required that I wait two months before returning to the country. But I was determined and vowed to travel around Asia for a few months and return later in the year.

I finally returned to India in July 2012, though this time to the Association for Yoga and Meditation in Rishikesh, a city considered to be the yoga capital of the world, with a course with good reviews that was a better fit for my (now much smaller) budget. This would be my last adventure before my big trip home, and I thought it would be a great way to end my Asia experience.

I wish I could say my month in Rishikesh was full of peace, love and butterflies amidst days of handstands, backbends and perfect splits but that was, in fact, far from reality.

As usual, I had set very “realistic” goals for myself.

Yes, I had only been doing yoga for less than two years. Yes, I had been a bit lazy in my yoga practice the past few months. Yes, my arms were about as strong as spaghetti noodles. But, damn it, I was going to walk out of this 200-hour yoga teacher training course as a yoga master, complete with perfect splits, headstands and a gumby-like back to compete with any contortionist. Not only that, my newfound meditation and concentration skills would make me one zen, totally-enlightened bad ass. THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

"I totally look the part!"

Yoga School Day One: “I totally look the part!”

Well, clearly, that plan didn’t quite work out as I wanted it to. Though our teacher, Mahesh, had warned us not to overdo things early on, my ego and ambition led me to systematically overstretch every single group of muscles in my body on a rotating weekly basis. First, it was my shoulders, then my hamstrings, then my back and so on and so on. There were seriously weeks where it seemed half my asana classes were spent in child’s pose, resting the damaged muscles du jour.

Additionally, I found it emotionally very taxing. Perhaps it was failing the high expectations I had set for myself. Perhaps it was the growing anxiety about returning home after more than two years overseas. Perhaps it was being forced to look inward and examine my thoughts during daily breathing and meditation courses. Whatever the case, I was not the zen little nun I had sought out to be.

If yoga is meant to humble you in the face of a greater power, I certainly got that part down.

Luckily, you don’t have to be a perfect yogi in order to teach yoga, you just have to finish your course. While my asanas and meditation skills were not progressing as fast as I would have liked them to, my knowledge of the practice deepened significantly. In addition to the poses and meditation, we studied breathing (“pranayama”), yogic cleansing techniques (“kriyas”), philosophy, teaching and more. While I might not have been able to stand on my head, I did learn how to teach someone else to do it as well as why they should do it and how to do it safely. I also learned a whole lot of crazy cleansing and breathing techniques, and at one point, was able to hold my breath for a minute and a half.

By the end of the month, I was nowhere near my earlier goals, but I was much improved and actually did get my splits back :). What I came to understand that month was yoga is not a destination but a journey that takes a lifetime. Philosophically, it’s a journey to God. On a more practical level, it’s a tool for mental and physical discipline that can bring you great joy and peace in life.

While I’m still a little bit nuts, I think I covered good ground that month and plan to help others on their own journeys as I continue along mine.

Certified yoga instructor. Boom!

Certified yoga instructor. Boom!

My next few posts will showcase some of the more entertaining/special moments during my course. Below are some fun photos of my progress during my yoga teacher training course.

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Stretching Forward

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From the very beginning of my India trip, I knew I wanted to end up in an ashram.

As I mentioned in my “Reflections” post, learning to meditate and improving my yoga practice were personal goals of mine, and I figured what better way to attain them than to spend a concentrated amount of time in a spiritual community in, arguably, the most spiritual place on earth.

When I learned about the Sivananda yoga ashram, (technically, the International Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Centres), I thought it sounded perfect. Chanting, meditation and four hours of yoga practice a day, it seemed just what I was looking for. The fact that it was having a special holiday program and I would be able to celebrate Christmas in some aspect was just an added bonus.

Little did I know the effect those five days at Sivananda would have on me, both physically and spiritually.

Situated outside Trivandrum in Neyyar Dam, Kerala in southern India, the Sivananda yoga ashram was everything you’d imagine an ashram to be. Lush vegetation and fruit trees covered the complex, interspersed with the occasional statue of Shiva, Ganesh or Vishnu. An open two-story hall formed the center of the ashram, providing us space for our yoga practice as well as the setting for our meditation, chanting and cultural shows. While the bottom floor was fairly simple, used almost exclusively for yoga, the top floor was quite rich. Paintings of colorful deities lined the walls, facing each other, while statues of the ashram’s founders and gurus, Swami Sivananda and Swami Vishnusdevananda, and other statues rested on stage in front, covered in orange cloaks. Just outside, a staircase led to a small woods of thick green trees, opening to reveal a quiet lake shimmering in the sun. Just outside the lake opening, life-sized statues depicting Sivananda’s 12 signature yoga postures created a space to keep visitors focused on the task at hand. Calm, beautiful and utterly connected with nature, Sivananda’s was perfect.

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As a yoga ashram, the focus of life at Sivananda’s was yoga (duh). Though our daily schedule included four hours of asana (postures) practice, Sivananda embraced a more holistic yoga lifestyle which also included daily meditation and chanting, self-less service (chores) and a vegetarian diet. Our day started every morning at 6 a.m. with an hour and a half of meditation and chanting before our first two-hour yoga class at 8 a.m. Around 10:30 a.m., we were served the first of our two meals a day, usually a variation of rice surrounded by mild chutneys and vegetables, served with water. (Let me tell you, exercising four hours a day with only two meals, you learn quickly how to pack in the carbs when you get the chance. Lucky for us, the food was delicious.) Free time for chores, private yoga coaching or special cultural workshops followed breakfast, before resuming with our second yoga class at 4 p.m. The day continued with dinner and more meditation and chanting, before ending with our special holiday cultural performance in the evening.

After months of spotty yoga practice, lucky if I was doing a class once every two weeks, I had no idea how I’d survive four hours of class a day. But surprisingly, it was amazing. Eating and sleeping little, exercising constantly, I felt incredible. Even after just a couple days I could feel my body getting stronger with more energy and endurance. But the best part of all was the mood. Despite the inevitable aches and pains, I was so happy, along with everyone around me. As cheesy and hippie-ish as it sounds, there seemed to be an overflow of positive energy in the ashram, as if everyone’s endorphins were working together to create a perpetual happy place. No TV, no junk food, no contact with the outside world, and I was running high.

Normally, Sivananda offers mandatory Hinduism classes between yoga practice, but since I came during the holiday cultural program, philosophy classes were replaced with workshops on native Keralan singing, dancing and art. While I enjoyed these programs immensely, I was a little disappointed to have lost my opportunity to study Hinduism properly, especially since the ashram marked the end of my India trip. But after having spent nearly three months in India, I had picked up a few things and enjoyed discussing philosophy with those around me.

And then I met Gloria (another one). High energy, to the point and sarcastic, Gloria from “New Yowk” seemed to be your stereotypical New Yorker. But perhaps unstereotypically, she was also a Sivananda yoga teacher. One day over tea, I asked her what she thought about Hinduism, and whether or not she thought they actually believe in all those different gods or if, essentially, they were just different manifestations of the same being. Her answer was one of the most interesting perspectives I’ve found.

In Gloria’s understanding, Hindu deities represent different aspects of one God. The different personalities, she said, help people find a specific aspect of God with whom he or she can relate and that specific manifestation is the one best to lead that person to God.

When I thought about it, I realized that nearly all Hindus I knew had one particular deity to whom they prayed, and in meditation, we were asked to recite our mantra, picture our God or, at the very least, focus on the basic, all-encompassing sound, “om.”

In Gloria’s case, she favored Shiva, who she considered a modern day “rock star” and found super bad ass. In my case, however, she had a different idea.

“I don’t see you with one of those pansy gods about beauty or something,” she said. “You’re quite fiery. I see you with somebody with a weapon.”

That was, quite possibly, one of the coolest compliments I’ve ever gotten 🙂 (I think).

While I still don’t know who my own personal deity might be, I got to thinking that maybe Gloria was right. Maybe there really is just one God, but throughout the changing cultures and histories of the world, he has just come to manifest himself in different ways.

In fact, there are even theories that Jesus spent his “lost years” in India as a Buddhist disciple. While it may sound blasphemous, there are suggestions that Jesus might have had some East-leaning beliefs, which may have just gotten altered through the centuries in the West. The gnostic gospels, for instance, like the Gospel of Thomas, tend to have a much more mystical focus on self-enlightenment and realization.

I don’t care to go into all of that here, but it does make me think that maybe all these different religions, when boiled down to the core, are essentially the same. Maybe there isn’t just one way, but numerous paths and figures to reach him. For some, that figure is Jesus. For others, Buddha, or even Amma, provide the answers. Still, maybe the path to enlightenment is through Shiva, Ganesh, Laksmi or any other of the several million Hindu deities. And maybe there’s more to come.

Twenty-seven years of religious study and soul-searching, and I still cannot pretend to know all the answers. And honestly, I don’t know if I ever will. But I will say now, after seven years of borderline atheism, I’m starting to have faith again.

I like the peacefulness of meditation, I like the strength and focus I get through yoga, and I like the idea that, maybe somewhere, there is an ultimate being who is looking out for us. Maybe, at the end of the day, what I’ve regained is hope.

The Good, the Bad, the Bali: Part 4

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After spending the first half of the week in Ubud, we decided to spend our remaining days in Bali’s other tourist hotspot, Kuta. At first glance, I thought Kuta was great. Like Ubud, it was full of adorable little tourist boutiques and spas, this time, with a beautiful long, sandy beach. Ah, paradise, right?

Wrong.

Kuta is completely OBNOXIOUS. Yes, I said it, Kuta is OBNOXIOUS! I really didn’t think tourism could get more annoying than Ubud, until I found the taxi drivers and masseuses even more prevalent and aggressive in Kuta. You can’t walk more than a few feet without people harassing you, and even some of the stuff in the shops was just plain rude. Like this bumper sticker stall:

Charming bumper stickers at a shop in Kuta, Bali

In addition to its over-commercialization, I just think the whole Kuta scene wasn’t my vibe. Kuta is party central, like the Spring Break destination of Southeast Asia. I did enjoy going to the beach, but the waves and current were so strong, even just playing in the water was stressful. At the end of the day, it’s just wasn’t my cup of tea.

I will say, despite all my disappointments and stresses throughout the week, I finally got the Bali I was looking for on my last day of the trip. One of my goals in going to Bali was to take a yoga class at an “authentic” yoga place. Unfortunately, I missed my opportunity to do it in Ubud (where the main yoga spots are) and I sadly discovered there were practically no places to do yoga in Kuta (at least not well-publicized). After giving up hope on the tourist booths, I went to an Internet café and tried to find something online. Again, to my dismay, there were virtually no yoga classes to be found in Kuta online either! The only lead I found was a small resort located outside of Kuta that offered daily yoga classes starting at 8:30 a.m. The only problem was that the website was dated from 2003…

Since I already established I didn’t like Kuta, I figured I had nothing to lose, so the next morning I got up early, packed my bags, put on my yoga gear and set out to find this obscure little resort. To my not-so-surprise, the resort no longer offered Saturday yoga classes, so I was out of luck. But the setting was so charming that I actually didn’t care. Situated behind a small-town road, covered in lush greenery, bright flowers, Balinese statues and rustic chalets, it was exactly the beautiful, serene Bali I had pictured in my head before my arrival. Despite missing out on my class, I felt instantly at peace and decided to just enjoy my last day by wandering around this delightfully tourist-free area.

The Bali resort where I took my yoga class

My first stop was this charming Eastern and Western restaurant across the street for breakfast, offering high-class service and organic food for really cheap prices. As I was enjoying a delicious plate of Eggs Benedict and a cappuccino (complete with latte art!) I noticed a rack of brochures near the entrance. As I went to inspect I realized THIS is where they had been hiding all the yoga information, geez! Ideally, I had been looking for a place to try both yoga and meditation and to my luck, I found another resort nearby that was offering a three-hour brain-mind-body workshop that afternoon. Though I really had no idea what this workshop entailed, I headed out once again and delightfully found yet another, lush, serene truly “Balinese” setting. In addition to features similar to the previous resort, this place had an open-air yoga studio, situated in the back of the property, surrounded by flowers and greenery, unbothered by the rest of the world. It was perfect.

The open air yoga studio where I took class

The class itself was also amazing. The first hour our instructor talked to us about the relationship among the mind, brain and body, giving a scientific explanation on what parts of the brain reacted and why when one was meditating. The second hour was spent doing this really simple, yet fascinating breathing technique that put us all into this crazy, zoned-out mindset. Basically, you take two inhalations, first from the stomach, then from the lungs, and then exhale and repeat this over and over and over again.  As the whole group lied on the ground, doing these crazy breaths together, it eventually got trippy. I have never experienced anything like this. In what I can only describe as a sort of hyperventilation, your whole body just starts buzzing and your mind goes blank. I really don’t know how else to describe it, except that my arms, legs and head were just “buzzing.” From here, we went directly into an hour-long yoga session, which was absolutely incredible. Having just come from the mind-clearing breathing session, we were all completely calm and “aware” as we did our poses, and I found myself for the first time starting to make the mind-body connection. I also found I could hold some poses longer and further, because I was no longer fighting with my mind about the pain or tedium. It was truly an incredible experience and the perfect way to end my trip to Bali.