Tag Archives: Meditation

Yoga School

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If you’ve ever met me, you probably know I’m a little bit nuts.

To describe me as “Type A” would be an understatement, and sometimes I’m amazed how my anxiety seemingly knows no bounds.

When I started yoga shortly after moving to Malaysia in 2010, it was a means for exercise and a productive way to fill some free time in a new country. Then, when I started my India trip a year later, it became a “when in Rome” activity to experience this ancient tradition in its native land. But as I made my way through India, taking different yoga classes, visiting temples, witnessing pujas, studying meditation and philosophy, I began to see a bigger picture. Yoga and meditation became more than a means to physical fitness but a means to mental fitness as well and a desperately sought solution to achieve some calm in my life. I resolved that I would end my trip with a stay in a yoga ashram and see what would happen.

At the end of 2011, I found myself at the Sivananda Yoga Ashram. While I was only there for five days, it was everything I expected and more. The setting was lush and isolated, and the holistic discipline of limited vegetarian meals, meditation and minimal sleep in addition to four hours of daily asana (pose) practice left me feeling mentally and physically stronger than I’d felt in a long time. I knew then that I had to return a do a month-long teacher training program to explore this further.

Unfortunately, my single-entry, three-month visa was almost out, and India’s strict visa regulations required that I wait two months before returning to the country. But I was determined and vowed to travel around Asia for a few months and return later in the year.

I finally returned to India in July 2012, though this time to the Association for Yoga and Meditation in Rishikesh, a city considered to be the yoga capital of the world, with a course with good reviews that was a better fit for my (now much smaller) budget. This would be my last adventure before my big trip home, and I thought it would be a great way to end my Asia experience.

I wish I could say my month in Rishikesh was full of peace, love and butterflies amidst days of handstands, backbends and perfect splits but that was, in fact, far from reality.

As usual, I had set very “realistic” goals for myself.

Yes, I had only been doing yoga for less than two years. Yes, I had been a bit lazy in my yoga practice the past few months. Yes, my arms were about as strong as spaghetti noodles. But, damn it, I was going to walk out of this 200-hour yoga teacher training course as a yoga master, complete with perfect splits, headstands and a gumby-like back to compete with any contortionist. Not only that, my newfound meditation and concentration skills would make me one zen, totally-enlightened bad ass. THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

"I totally look the part!"

Yoga School Day One: “I totally look the part!”

Well, clearly, that plan didn’t quite work out as I wanted it to. Though our teacher, Mahesh, had warned us not to overdo things early on, my ego and ambition led me to systematically overstretch every single group of muscles in my body on a rotating weekly basis. First, it was my shoulders, then my hamstrings, then my back and so on and so on. There were seriously weeks where it seemed half my asana classes were spent in child’s pose, resting the damaged muscles du jour.

Additionally, I found it emotionally very taxing. Perhaps it was failing the high expectations I had set for myself. Perhaps it was the growing anxiety about returning home after more than two years overseas. Perhaps it was being forced to look inward and examine my thoughts during daily breathing and meditation courses. Whatever the case, I was not the zen little nun I had sought out to be.

If yoga is meant to humble you in the face of a greater power, I certainly got that part down.

Luckily, you don’t have to be a perfect yogi in order to teach yoga, you just have to finish your course. While my asanas and meditation skills were not progressing as fast as I would have liked them to, my knowledge of the practice deepened significantly. In addition to the poses and meditation, we studied breathing (“pranayama”), yogic cleansing techniques (“kriyas”), philosophy, teaching and more. While I might not have been able to stand on my head, I did learn how to teach someone else to do it as well as why they should do it and how to do it safely. I also learned a whole lot of crazy cleansing and breathing techniques, and at one point, was able to hold my breath for a minute and a half.

By the end of the month, I was nowhere near my earlier goals, but I was much improved and actually did get my splits back :). What I came to understand that month was yoga is not a destination but a journey that takes a lifetime. Philosophically, it’s a journey to God. On a more practical level, it’s a tool for mental and physical discipline that can bring you great joy and peace in life.

While I’m still a little bit nuts, I think I covered good ground that month and plan to help others on their own journeys as I continue along mine.

Certified yoga instructor. Boom!

Certified yoga instructor. Boom!

My next few posts will showcase some of the more entertaining/special moments during my course. Below are some fun photos of my progress during my yoga teacher training course.

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Lumbini: The Birthplace of the Buddha

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As the birthplace of the Buddha, Nepal is a popular pilgrimage destination for spiritual seekers all over the world. And as an experimental Buddhist, I knew I had to make the trip as well.

Lumbini, the town where the Buddha was born in 623 B.C., is located near the Indian border, and Naren and I planned it as our final destination before returning to India.

As a town, the Buddha complex is Lumbini’s main event, and the city doesn’t really require more than a day’s visit to experience, unless you plan on staying a few days to soak up the spiritual energy.

The complex is broken into several parts and must be entered and exited through specific locations. To start, visitors begin at International Monastic Zone, a growing collection of Buddhist temples from Buddhist communities around the world, meant to promote world peace.

The development zone is split down the middle with temples from the Theravada tradition on the east side and temples from the Mahayana tradition on the west side. The walk through is lovely, with the two sides separated by narrow roads, a long pool of landscaped water and trees dotted with Buddhist sayings. It’s also a great way to experience Buddhist traditions from different parts of the world.

At the end of the International Monastic Zone, you approach the Sacred Garden where the birth took place. The garden includes the Mayadevi temple, which surrounds an underground excavation that holds a rock that marks the spot where the Buddha was born (unfortunately, no photos were allowed on the inside). The garden also includes the Sacred Pool where Buddha’s mother is said to have bathed before giving birth, as well as the Ashokan Pillar, an ancient pillar identifying the spot as the birthplace.

A visit to the complex is a real treasure, and even if you are not into Buddhism or spirituality, you’ll walk away happy and calm. It’s just that kind of place.

Below are some photos of birthplace of the Buddha.

The eternal flame symbolizes world peace and sits in front of a landscaped pool that separates the Theravada and Mahayana Buddhist traditions in the International Monastic Zone.

The eternal flame symbolizes world peace and sits in front of a landscaped pool that separates the Theravada and Mahayana Buddhist traditions in the International Monastic Zone.

Buddhist Sayings 1

Thai Temple in the International Monastic Zone

Thai Temple in the International Monastic Zone

Korean Temple in the International Monastic Zone

Korean Temple in the International Monastic Zone

Buddhist Sayings 2

Lumbini Road 2

Mayadevi Temple that houses that rock that marks the spot of the birth

Mayadevi Temple that houses that rock that marks the spot of the birth

Sunset

Buddhist Sayings 3

Prayer Flags

Prayer Flags

The pool where Buddha's mother is said to have bathed before giving birth

The pool where Buddha’s mother is said to have bathed before giving birth

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Buddhist Beginnings

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When I started my India trip, my plan was to travel for the first few months then settle down in an ashram in the end to focus on yoga and meditation and, hopefully, learn more about Hinduism.

As I mentioned in my Mehandipur post, I have always had a fascination with religion, psychology and philosophy. I enjoy learning about different belief systems, their history and what motivates people to behave in ways that they do. Hinduism, in particular, has become religious fascination number one since I arrived in Asia, and I was dying for a chance to learn more about the Hindu gods, karma and all their rituals.

So when I heard about the eight-day “Introduction to Buddhism” meditation course being offered at the Tushita Meditation Centre in McLeod Ganj, I had mixed feelings. As home of the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan government in exile, McLeod Ganj is a magical place in the Himalayas full of Tibetan refugees, monks and lots and lots of Westerners, all there to enjoy the breathtaking views, peaceful atmosphere and positive energy. (McLeod Ganj was MY FAVORITE destination in India).

Me in front of the Himalayas in McLeod Ganj

However, a week-long introduction to Buddhism course was never in the plan. India was supposed to be learning about Hinduism, not Buddhism, and I was afraid my Buddhism course would cut into my ashram time in the end.

But something pushed me to stay. I don’t know if it was the desire to stay in McLeod Ganj, sheer curiosity or something more powerful, but in the end, I decided to embrace Tushita. And it ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Located about 15 minutes outside the city, the Tushita Meditation Centre is a Tibetan Buddhist center that hosts free daily meditation sessions and regular Buddhist courses and retreats. It is also home to several monks and nuns.

As the title suggests, the “Introduction to Buddhism” course is an intensive retreat focusing on the basic philosophy of Buddhism through a series of lectures and guided meditations.

The days were fairly routine. Every morning, a gong would sound at 6 a.m. to wake us up in time for our morning meditation session. The rest of the day followed in a sequence of breakfast, morning lecture, stretching, lunch, chores, discussion groups, afternoon lecture, dinner and evening meditation.

I’m not sure if I could pick a place more suitable to learn meditation. Situated right in the mountains, Tushita is completely surrounded by trees, fresh air and beautiful views of the woods below. The gompa itself, our hub for meditation and lessons, was also impressive. In front of the rows of cushions and tiny desks where we sat, a massive gold Buddha commanded the attention of everyone in the room, surrounded by walls of colorful paintings and a photo of the Dalai Lama.

The gompa at the Tushita Meditation Centre in McLeod Ganj

Our housing, however, was a bit more humble, consisting of basic single beds and shelves with shared toilets and showers on the outside (some can opt to pay more for their own room and bathroom, however). And as if you’re not removed from society enough, Tushita was quick to take away any distractions that may otherwise hamper our development, including our phones, cameras, laptops, etc. that got locked away for safekeeping. But I think the one thing that kept the distractions most at bay was one particular rule: no talking.

Yes, apart from asking questions during lecture time and group discussions, the entire retreat was meant to be in silence. No meal-time conversations, no chatting with your roommates, just lots of time to reflect on the day’s lesson, meditate or read Buddhism books.

Ok, I’m pretty sure the ones watching from home right now are laughing in astonishment at the idea of me being quiet for a week, but I’m proud to say, I did it! Better than many others in our group, I might add (you know who you are).

Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it was a bit of a relief at times to be able to sit quietly alone and not feel bad that my frequent anti-social self wasn’t participating in the seemingly-exciting discussions nearby.

Instead, I listened. I read. I watched the monkeys play in the trees (an endless source of entertainment). But most of all, I thought.

Buddhism, when you break it down, is fairly simple. Basically, it’s the idea that through aging, sickness and death (among other things), the human condition is one of suffering. But through meditation and awareness, one can learn to be unattached to temporary, material and emotional things (the causes of suffering) to attain peace, knowledge and, ultimately, enlightenment, an eternal God-like state of bliss and understanding.

On the surface, it’s an easy enough concept to grasp. Removing any sense of karma, reincarnation or beliefs in the spirit realms, even the most devout Christian or adamant atheist can find Buddhism a useful tool for coping through life or deepening one’s own, different, sense of spirituality. In fact, many argue that Buddhism is more of a philosophy than a religion anyway.

For me, who is often overly-emotional, irritable, and/or anxious, Buddhism, in its most basic form, promised a way to find peace, despite external circumstances. But learning to meditate is not easy, especially for one with the charming aforementioned characteristics. To start, just sitting upright, cross-legged for a prolonged period of time can be quite painful without proper strength, flexibility and practice (that’s where yoga helps). And then the really hard part: stilling one’s mind. In training, they teach you to watch your breath, sometimes counting, to help you focus. When thoughts come, as they inevitably do, the idea is to simply observe them and let them go, as if watching a still from a movie. No analyzing, no obsessing and no judgment (not even to scold yourself for thinking), just recognition and release.

If you’ve ever tried this yourself, you know how difficult it is. It’s amazing how many thoughts go through our heads each day, even more amazing when you consider how much of them are repetitious or useless, serving no purpose whatsoever for our ultimate well-being and oftentimes, causing more trouble.

When one gets really deep into meditation, some claim to get glimpses of enlightenment, sublime experiences that are out of this world. Others drudge up old or repressed memories or, sometimes, even past lives. And still, with intense concentration, some gain the ability to transcend human limitations of pain and endurance (so I hear). The whole process is, essentially, a massive clearing out of the junk inside your head that distract or otherwise prevent you from seeing things as they truly are and reaching enlightenment.

In my eight days at Tushita, I got nowhere near enlightenment, nor did I have any freaky out-of-this world moments. I did, however, have one strange experience that took me by surprise, a memory, actually, from the 10th grade.

This was not my first kiss, not some melodramatic teenage argument, nor some significant award or competition that was important to me then. Instead, it was a simple lunch with friends in my high school cafeteria. While I still can’t figure out why this image came to mind, I do remember the olive green color of the shirt I was wearing, the exact positioning of my friends at the table and the random 15-year-old thoughts going through my head at the time, happy to chat with my friends, nervous to talk to the boys I had a crush on. But that’s it.

I still insist this memory was rather trivial, but the one thing I do take from this scenario is how incredible the human mind really is. Maybe we don’t actually forget as much of our lives as we think we do, maybe it’s just a matter of training our minds to drum up the past and, with practice, we can relive the most amazing or even insignificant events that made us who we are today.

As for the rest of the group, we all seemed to have powerful experiences in some form or another. In addition to stilling our minds, our meditation guide, Rinchen, also took us through a series of intense, and at times painful, meditations where we focused on love, forgiveness and death. I tell you, nothing gets the emotions up like imagining what it would be like to say good-bye to loved ones if you only had six months to live or recognizing who you still have grudges against when forced to concentrate on forgiveness.

But, in one of my favorite moments in all of India, Rinchen says, with complete seriousness, “And if you’re older than 26, death is closer than you think.”

In a massive relief of tension, the entire room, made up largely of 20-somethings, bursts out laughing in a tremendous, gut-level release that even Rinchen partakes in. Apparently, there’s only so much gloom and doom we can take.

By the end of the week, despite not talking, we’d all found a deeper connection, not just with ourselves but with each other. In a massive show of unity and friendship, nearly all 100 of those in our group filled the rooftop of Carpe Diem restaurant in McLeod Ganj the day the course ended for dinner together, and I still continue to keep in touch with many of those people today.

I won’t go so far to say I’m a Buddhist just yet, but I will say that after Tushita, I have opened up my heart and my mind to seeing what Buddhism can do for me, and maybe those around me indirectly. Though still a beginner, I have started to meditate regularly and try to use Buddhist philosophy when I find myself frustrated or overcome with emotions.

Could Buddhism be the new Xanax? 😉

The Good, the Bad, the Bali: Part 4

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After spending the first half of the week in Ubud, we decided to spend our remaining days in Bali’s other tourist hotspot, Kuta. At first glance, I thought Kuta was great. Like Ubud, it was full of adorable little tourist boutiques and spas, this time, with a beautiful long, sandy beach. Ah, paradise, right?

Wrong.

Kuta is completely OBNOXIOUS. Yes, I said it, Kuta is OBNOXIOUS! I really didn’t think tourism could get more annoying than Ubud, until I found the taxi drivers and masseuses even more prevalent and aggressive in Kuta. You can’t walk more than a few feet without people harassing you, and even some of the stuff in the shops was just plain rude. Like this bumper sticker stall:

Charming bumper stickers at a shop in Kuta, Bali

In addition to its over-commercialization, I just think the whole Kuta scene wasn’t my vibe. Kuta is party central, like the Spring Break destination of Southeast Asia. I did enjoy going to the beach, but the waves and current were so strong, even just playing in the water was stressful. At the end of the day, it’s just wasn’t my cup of tea.

I will say, despite all my disappointments and stresses throughout the week, I finally got the Bali I was looking for on my last day of the trip. One of my goals in going to Bali was to take a yoga class at an “authentic” yoga place. Unfortunately, I missed my opportunity to do it in Ubud (where the main yoga spots are) and I sadly discovered there were practically no places to do yoga in Kuta (at least not well-publicized). After giving up hope on the tourist booths, I went to an Internet café and tried to find something online. Again, to my dismay, there were virtually no yoga classes to be found in Kuta online either! The only lead I found was a small resort located outside of Kuta that offered daily yoga classes starting at 8:30 a.m. The only problem was that the website was dated from 2003…

Since I already established I didn’t like Kuta, I figured I had nothing to lose, so the next morning I got up early, packed my bags, put on my yoga gear and set out to find this obscure little resort. To my not-so-surprise, the resort no longer offered Saturday yoga classes, so I was out of luck. But the setting was so charming that I actually didn’t care. Situated behind a small-town road, covered in lush greenery, bright flowers, Balinese statues and rustic chalets, it was exactly the beautiful, serene Bali I had pictured in my head before my arrival. Despite missing out on my class, I felt instantly at peace and decided to just enjoy my last day by wandering around this delightfully tourist-free area.

The Bali resort where I took my yoga class

My first stop was this charming Eastern and Western restaurant across the street for breakfast, offering high-class service and organic food for really cheap prices. As I was enjoying a delicious plate of Eggs Benedict and a cappuccino (complete with latte art!) I noticed a rack of brochures near the entrance. As I went to inspect I realized THIS is where they had been hiding all the yoga information, geez! Ideally, I had been looking for a place to try both yoga and meditation and to my luck, I found another resort nearby that was offering a three-hour brain-mind-body workshop that afternoon. Though I really had no idea what this workshop entailed, I headed out once again and delightfully found yet another, lush, serene truly “Balinese” setting. In addition to features similar to the previous resort, this place had an open-air yoga studio, situated in the back of the property, surrounded by flowers and greenery, unbothered by the rest of the world. It was perfect.

The open air yoga studio where I took class

The class itself was also amazing. The first hour our instructor talked to us about the relationship among the mind, brain and body, giving a scientific explanation on what parts of the brain reacted and why when one was meditating. The second hour was spent doing this really simple, yet fascinating breathing technique that put us all into this crazy, zoned-out mindset. Basically, you take two inhalations, first from the stomach, then from the lungs, and then exhale and repeat this over and over and over again.  As the whole group lied on the ground, doing these crazy breaths together, it eventually got trippy. I have never experienced anything like this. In what I can only describe as a sort of hyperventilation, your whole body just starts buzzing and your mind goes blank. I really don’t know how else to describe it, except that my arms, legs and head were just “buzzing.” From here, we went directly into an hour-long yoga session, which was absolutely incredible. Having just come from the mind-clearing breathing session, we were all completely calm and “aware” as we did our poses, and I found myself for the first time starting to make the mind-body connection. I also found I could hold some poses longer and further, because I was no longer fighting with my mind about the pain or tedium. It was truly an incredible experience and the perfect way to end my trip to Bali.